Christian's Thoughts
by I'm the reason the rum is gone
Summary: I had this during a dream following His Lady Darkness. It's a drabble of 1,000 words. I have yet to decide on the sequels for the Undertaker's part of this story. Features Undertaker to a degree, rated T.


This was just a drabble that I put together of Christian s thoughts during His Lady Darkness. I got it from a dream and it was sort of creepy to be in Christian s mind. Hope you enjoy it.

We were told to keep the mistress safe. It is true, our Lord had been watching her for sometime. She was so full of life and laughter until Undertaker never mind that isn t what is important here. She was my mistress, whether she acknowledged her position in the Ministry or not. She was a light in the darkness even if the Lord had poisoned her with the darkness.  
I remember when that slap echoed through the dressing room. I had to hold her back from our lord. I knew Undertaker wouldn t hurt her, but I know differently now. She had a lot of power, dark power. It was that power she had used on her lord. Deep down, even then she loved him. Even after she learned about the poison. I had told her what it would do.  
She was frightened. What else could I do? My lady had asked me without words what was happening and I told her. It had happened to all of us. But it had to happen to her especially. Her master and lord wanted her and she had to be tainted with him in order for it to be so. It wasn t her fault.  
Even when Vince was revealed as the Higher Power, she didn t seem to care about anything, except her lord. I remember the pain in her voice as she challenged the Undertaker to a Hell in the Cell match. She knew it would be her death, but she wanted his freedom. Anyone could see it. She trembled in the Lord s presence, but she loved the man trapped inside. She confided in me before the match. I was her only friend in the Ministry.  
She valued that. She loved me like a brother and she told me that she was not scared of death, she was scared of servitude. She didn t want to serve the Minister any longer and she would free him and all of us. I remember the challenge and the Minister s words of acceptance. She was a light being suffocated by his darkness.  
I remember the match. I heard Kane shout NO! and Gangrel ordered us to attack them and prevent them from disturbing Master and Mistress. I wanted to save her, but I couldn t. I loved her. More than anything in the world.  
I remember when Kane opened the Cell just in time to see his one true love die. He loved her as much as Undertaker and I did. I remember his torment. His flames of hatred for his brother killing her. The soot of the canvas; all that remained of my mistress.  
I loved her, I would ve died for her. I would have saved her, I would have let her live for the man she loved.  
I remember what happened after Undertaker disappeared. Edge tried to take me to a bar to cheer me up. It didn t work, but the bartender had a happiness about her, no matter how rude the customers were. Just like Larissa had before she had joined the Ministry. I wondered what it was like to have such happiness. Then I remembered it was karaoke night at this bar and the bartender handed me a drink and promised she would be back after the song she sang.  
The song she sang: it gave me some sort of peace. Kane had despaired and gone on a rampage, but this was a peace that I hadn t know unless I was with mistress. I loved her and the song reminded me of her:

Sometimes I feel like I don t have a partner Sometimes I feel like my only friend Is the city I live in

I kind of blanked out until I heard the chorus. It made me realize that Larissa was watching or whatever. I felt her presence and I smiled since that night:

And I don t ever want to feel Like I did that day,  
Take me to the place I love Take me all the way

Mistress I love her and even now ten years later, I love her. I know she s smiling somewhere. She sees her love, Undertaker as a champion. He is lost and he is currently dating Michelle. I understand why. He is trying to fill the void, the void left by Larissa. It is a void that will never be filled for anyone. Not myself, not Undertaker, certainly not Kane, not Edge, and even not for Bradshaw, though he quit. Edge never truly understood our feelings though. He saw her as the mistress, but he couldn t understand. I turned on him and shunned him because of it. I really didn t mean to. I was just so angry with him and I thought it was the right thing to do.  
We all thought anger was the right thing to do Then the Undertaker turned back to the darkness. It wasn t his fault. He knew it would happen eventually, because he told me. He cornered me one day and asked me why I was sulking. I told him he knew why and why I would always hate that part of him. He slumped to the ground and told me he never wanted to hurt her and I told him coldly: But you did. I turned away, but didn t leave because he was hurting and I was always the sensitive one.  
Christian, I know you loved her as much as I did. He sighed.  
Did Kane forgive you yet? I asked harshly, without meaning it.  
No, but he won t ever forgive me. I killed his love and mine and yours. I killed the one person who loved me for me, not for my power. Undertaker turned me around.  
Don t worry, I won t tell anyone what you said. He nodded and turned around, beginning to walk away. Hey! I called. Win this one for her, okay? He nodded and walked away to the lower area so he could get into place for Wrestlemania 25. He missed her, I could tell. That s why he came to me that night, before he went to face Shawn. He never got scared, but I knew he was scared of one thing. But I don t care about that I care about Mistress.  
She was a light in the darkness and I will never forget her. She gave me a small happiness while she was with us and now, as ECW Champion, I will go out there tonight and give it my all, like I do every night, to show her that I still love and honor her memory my mistress 


End file.
